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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Jealous Quotes
  • Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Mean Quotes
  • If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes
  • I have learned that there lies dormant in the souls of all men a penchant for some particular musical instrument an an unsuspected yearning to play on it, which are bound to wake up an demand attention someday. Therefore you who rail at such that disturb your slumbers with unsuccessful and demoralizing attempts to subjugate a guitar, beware! For sooner or later your own time will come.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Music Quotes , Lying Quotes
  • Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used to own (for where women and children are not, men of kindly impulses take up with pets, for they must love something)
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Fall Quotes