Mark Twain Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Rights Quotes

There isn't a Parallel of Latitude but thinks it would have been the Equator if it had had its rights.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Rights Quotes

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.

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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Knives Quotes

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Animal Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Bridgeport?" Said I. "Camelot," Said he.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Camelot Quotes

It is a time when one’s spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death. It is a time when one is filled with vague longings; when one dreams of flight to peaceful islands in the remote solitudes of the sea, or folds his hands and says, What is the use of struggling, and toiling and worrying any more? let us give it all up.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Struggle Quotes

Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Interesting Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ideas Quotes , Breaking Rules Quotes

The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ceramics Quotes , Pieces Quotes

It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right

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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.

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Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Garden Quotes

It was in 1590--winter. Austria was far away from the world, and asleep; it was still the Middle Ages in Austria, and promised to remain so forever. Some even set it away back centuries upon centuries and said that by the mental and spiritual clock it was still the Age of Belief in Austria. But they meant it as a compliment, not a slur, and it was so taken, and we were all proud of it. I remember it well, although I was only a boy; and I remember, too, the pleasure it gave me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Book Quotes

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Novelists Quotes

...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Silly Quotes