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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes
- Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes
- This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes
- I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes
- They misunderestimated me.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes
- Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes