Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Forever Quotes

[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pimples Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

5 years ago

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cycling Quotes

It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you, We will therefore pay you cash to go away.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Temptation Quotes

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes