Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

We have the best government that money can buy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes