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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.
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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Compassion Quotes
- The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.
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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.
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Tags : Al Neuharth Quotes , Funny Quotes , Attitude Quotes