Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Whatever advice you give, be short.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fine Quotes

People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The English country-gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you, We will therefore pay you cash to go away.'

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Temptation Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

5 years ago

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes