Francis Bacon Quotes, Funny Quotes, Family Quotes

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Failure Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes