Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Suicide Quotes , Humor Quotes

Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice oftentimes of someone whose life has been turned upside down here's from.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Running Quotes , Humor Quotes

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Mean Quotes

In brief, sir, study what you most affect.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Fun Quotes , Humor Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Thinking Quotes

It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Cat Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Humor Quotes , Law Quotes

We need to have mentoring programs energized by government, paid for by government, but who exist not because of government. Teen Challenge is a way to get people off drugs and alcohol. Teen Challenge is a faith-based program that changes people's hearts.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Heart Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Thinking Quotes

To give law enforcement the additional tools it needs to track down terror here at home.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Home Quotes , Humor Quotes

Take the life issue. This issue requires a president and an administration leading our nation to understand the importance of life. This whole faith-based initiative really ties into a larger cultural issue that we're working on. It begins to affect the life issue, as well as the human dignity issue, because when you're talking about welcoming people of faith to help people who are disadvantaged and are unable to defend themselves, the logical step is also those babies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Baby Quotes , Humor Quotes

Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Freedom Quotes , Humor Quotes