Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

I encourage employers to permit their workers time off during the lunch hour to attend the noontime services to pray for our land.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Land Quotes

My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Play Quotes

Wit is cultured insolence.

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Humor Quotes , Insolence Quotes

I understand small business growth. I was one.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Business Quotes , Humor Quotes

And I strongly support the faith-based initiative that we're proposing, because I don't believe it violates the line between the separation of church and state, and I believe it's going to make America a better place.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Believe Quotes , Humor Quotes

If the East Timorians decide to revolt, Im sure Ill have a statement.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

It is time to set aside the old partisan bickering and finger-pointing and name-calling that comes from freeing parents to make different choices for their children.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Children Quotes , Humor Quotes

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Wise Quotes , Humor Quotes

The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Texas Quotes

This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of... You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the "evil empire" may have passed, evil still remains.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Past Quotes

Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we've convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old George W lever, if I'm the one, when I put my hand on the Bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not - to uphold the laws of the land.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Heart Quotes , Humor Quotes

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The secret to humor is surprise.

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Philosophical Quotes , Humor Quotes

This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Loss Quotes

I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

We say to seniors, we understand how important prescription drug coverage, so prescription drugs will be an ingrinable part of the Medicare plan.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Senior Quotes , Humor Quotes

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.

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Tags : Alan Watts Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Humor Quotes