Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Patience Quotes

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Patience Quotes

She is a peacock in everything but beauty!

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Women Quotes

There but for the grace of God, goes God.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Grace Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Style Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Heart Quotes

You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Lying Quotes

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Hands Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Relationship Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes