Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Science Quotes, Giving Quotes

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

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Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

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PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.

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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

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Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

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A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

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adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.

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FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.

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ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .

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NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Process Quotes , Latter Quotes

PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

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Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.

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LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

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Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.

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Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!

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DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.

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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

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Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

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