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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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- ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.
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- CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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- Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
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- IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
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- Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
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- QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.
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- Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
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- MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines, who believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. Herod of Judea, all the famous soldiers have been practical exponents of the Malthusian idea.
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- QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.
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- Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.
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- RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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- The god of the world's leading religion.
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- CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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- Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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- PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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- Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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- Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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