Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Flower Quotes, Color Quotes

Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Flower Quotes , Color Quotes

OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment . . . . judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Disappointment Quotes

REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Strong Quotes , War Quotes

Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hope Quotes , Country Quotes

J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, "jacere", "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Latin Quotes

INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Iron Quotes , Water Quotes

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Passion Quotes , Soul Quotes

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Blue Quotes

Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.

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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

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Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

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Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.

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Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Imagination Quotes , Concern Quotes

Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Views Quotes , Editors Quotes

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

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Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Quotes , Deceptive Quotes