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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
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- RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.
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- DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
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- ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
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- RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.
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- To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
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- WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
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- REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.
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- HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
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- What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.
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- LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.
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- PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
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- MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.
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- A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
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- GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.
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- LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
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- ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
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- The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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- SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Ocean Quotes