Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Flower Quotes, Color Quotes

Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Flower Quotes , Color Quotes

Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Self Quotes , Denial Quotes

EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Determination Quotes , Heart Quotes

REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Truth Quotes

recollect, v. To recall with additions something not previously known.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Recalls Quotes

Example is better than following it.

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TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eye Quotes , Sacrifice Quotes

It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Smell Quotes

Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

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IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

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Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Cheating Quotes

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

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UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Nature Quotes

LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes

IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Sitting Quotes

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.

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PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.

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LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Blue Quotes