Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Rome Quotes, Honor Quotes

OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser "triumph."

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rome Quotes , Honor Quotes

IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Needs Quotes , Morrow Quotes

The creator and arbiter of beauty is the heart; to the male rattlesnake the female rattlesnake is the loveliest thing in nature.

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PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

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PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe."

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Money Quotes , Reading Quotes

HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

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REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Satisfaction Quotes , Redress Quotes

CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Two Quotes

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , School Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.

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UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

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LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

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When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , May Quotes , Faults Quotes

The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ambition Quotes , Men Quotes

Hail, high Excess especially in wine, To thee in worship do I bend the knee Who preach abstemiousness unto me My skull thy pulpit, as my paunch thy shrine. Precept on precept, aye, and line on line, Could ne'er persuade so sweetly to agree With reason as thy touch, exact and free, Upon my forehead and along my spine. At thy command eschewing pleasure's cup, With the hot grape I warm no more my wit; When on thy stool of penitence I sit I'm quite converted, for I can't get up. Ungrateful he who afterward would falter To make new sacrifices at thine altar!

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wine Quotes , Sacrifice Quotes

BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Physicians Quotes