Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wish Quotes, Devil Quotes

Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Devil Quotes

RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Oil Quotes

MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Heart Quotes , Men Quotes

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Stars Quotes , Responsibility Quotes

MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines, who believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. Herod of Judea, all the famous soldiers have been practical exponents of the Malthusian idea.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Talking Quotes , Ideas Quotes

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Faith Quotes , Science Quotes

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Debtors Quotes , Owing A Debt Quotes

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Native American Quotes , Humor Quotes

Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Mind Quotes

Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ions Quotes , Molecules Quotes

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Children Quotes

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Italian Quotes

DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Paris Quotes

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Money Quotes

BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Belief Quotes , Given Quotes

prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Expectations Quotes , Outlook Quotes

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Temptation Quotes

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Feel Better Quotes