Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Giving Quotes, Peculiar Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Giving Quotes , Peculiar Quotes

Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

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DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.

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MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration.

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A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

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Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

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An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

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RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

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The money-getter who pleads his love of work has a lame defense, for love of work at money-getting is a lower taste than love of money.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Defense Quotes , Lame Quotes

plagiarism, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Priorities Quotes , Coincidence Quotes

As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Powerful Quotes , Law Quotes

For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

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MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

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At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Ambition Quotes

Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Skeletons Quotes , Dancing Quotes