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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
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- CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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- San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen
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- MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
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- HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.
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- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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- A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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- INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
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- Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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- ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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- Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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- Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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- Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.
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- FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"
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- KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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- predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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- The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
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- Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
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- MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.
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- The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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