Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Marriage Quotes, Taste Quotes

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Taste Quotes

IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Men Quotes

FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

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TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source --the first words of the ancient Latin hymn _Te Deum Laudamus_. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Father Quotes , Latin Quotes

SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Ocean Quotes

PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Nature Quotes

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

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KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

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HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.

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Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Military Quotes , Silence Quotes

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Quality Quotes , Morality Quotes

Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wall Quotes , Fall Quotes

An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

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The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

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Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

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WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Government Quotes