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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.
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- alone, adj. In bad company.
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- A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
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- DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.
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- MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
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- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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- PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.
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- Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
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- ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .
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- ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.
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- WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
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- Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
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- Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
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- Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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- Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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- HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
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- Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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- GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.
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- Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wall Quotes , Army Quotes