Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Teacher Quotes, Boys Quotes

FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

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Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

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A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

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Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

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A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , God Quotes , Years Quotes

Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'

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pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.

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LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Son Quotes , Men Quotes

PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.

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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

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PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.

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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

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DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

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Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.

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Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.

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ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

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K, n. A consonant; originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Shapes Quotes