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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
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- To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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- UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes
- CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.
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- TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
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- Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.
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- MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
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- QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Money Quotes , Numbers Quotes
- INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Iron Quotes , Water Quotes
- PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
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- Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Degrees Quotes , Solemnity Quotes
- As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , School Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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- Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
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- Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
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- Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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- Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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- predicament, n. The wage of consistency.
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- predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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- INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Justice Quotes