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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
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- Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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- Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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- Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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- A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the "buffone", or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play.
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- Think twice before you speak to a friend in need
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- EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
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- DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
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- PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
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- PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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- A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
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- Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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- Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.
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- Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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- Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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- Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
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- Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
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- Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
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- USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.
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- Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
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