Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Lying Quotes, Sadness Quotes

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lying Quotes , Sadness Quotes

To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

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EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.

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Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

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Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ifs Quotes , I Can Quotes

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Machines Quotes

The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rain Quotes , Humility Quotes

An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

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The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

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FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

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MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Home Quotes , Animal Quotes

SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Challenges Quotes , Church Quotes

CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Men Quotes