Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Doctrine Quotes

Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

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The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rain Quotes , Humility Quotes

PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

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PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

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THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.

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RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Player Quotes , Politics Quotes

PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

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HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

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MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

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SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.

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The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.

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CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

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Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

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DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Intelligent Quotes , Numbers Quotes

When you doubt, abstain.

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