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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
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- FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
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- Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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- To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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- CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.
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- FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
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- Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
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- Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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- We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
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- DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.
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- Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
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- Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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- REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.
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- ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.
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- MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
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- PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe."
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- EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
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- Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.
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- HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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- Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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