Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Air Quotes, Civilization Quotes

An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Air Quotes , Civilization Quotes

INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Justice Quotes

PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Learning Quotes

NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Trying Quotes

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Father Quotes , Taken Quotes

IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Punishment Quotes

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Stupidity Quotes , Taxes Quotes

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Heaven Quotes , Wicked Quotes

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ties Quotes , Debtors Quotes

While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Past Quotes , Mirrors Quotes

Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Book Quotes , Forever Quotes

RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Freedom Quotes , Garden Quotes

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Listening To Others Quotes , Bores You Quotes

Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Self Quotes , Restraint Quotes

UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Divinity Quotes , Deny Quotes

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Government Quotes , Democracy Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eggs Quotes , Giving Quotes