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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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- PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
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- Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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- Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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- Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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- Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.
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- PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.
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- Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
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- MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.
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- IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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- WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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- Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
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- Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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- Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.
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- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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- Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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- Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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- To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
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- CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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- Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
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