Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Ions Quotes, Molecules Quotes

Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.

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Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

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DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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Woman absent is woman dead.

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ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

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YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.

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PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.

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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

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To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

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Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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I was born to poor because of honest parents.

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art, n. This word has no definition.

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Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

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DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

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WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .

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MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

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