Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Freedom Quotes, Patriotic Quotes

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

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FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

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optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Fall Quotes

BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.

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UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

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Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.

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Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy," which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose

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An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.

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BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Alcohol Quotes

FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London

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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

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Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

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NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

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Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Growth Quotes , Definitions Quotes