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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
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- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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- DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
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- Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.
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- The place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of their liberty and peace by a male and a female fool.
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- NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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- QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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- actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.
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- GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
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- ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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- A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.
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- PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.
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- MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
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- LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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- HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.
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- Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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- LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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- To Dogmatism the Spirit of Inquiry is the same as the Spirit of Evil.
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- The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.
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