Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Fear Quotes, Inward Quotes

The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.

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At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

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We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of strangers.

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The wife, or bitter half.

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The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.

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FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

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THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.

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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

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Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.

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RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

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LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.

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Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.

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PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

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POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

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