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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Honor Quotes
- OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.
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- EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.
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- Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.
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- picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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- MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines, who believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. Herod of Judea, all the famous soldiers have been practical exponents of the Malthusian idea.
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- LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.
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- NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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- KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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- WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
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- INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
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- Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.
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- While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.
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- HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that
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- EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
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- A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.
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- Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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- When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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- CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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- GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
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