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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Twice – Once too often.
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- WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
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- History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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- MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
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- COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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- PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
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- Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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- PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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- That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity
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- Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.
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- PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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- prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.
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- An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
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- LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
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- Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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- INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.
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