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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
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- repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.
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- BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.
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- NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.
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- PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
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- RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
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- LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
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- Die: To stop sinning suddenly.
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- Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
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- Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
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- You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
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- ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.
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- GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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- DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.
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- Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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- Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.
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- PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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- COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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- REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Understanding Quotes