Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Mad Quotes

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Philosopher Quotes

Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If mans notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from and nowise dependent on, their consequences-then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Lying Quotes

NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.

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Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

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Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peace Quotes , Government Quotes

INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.

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DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Trust Quotes , Envy Quotes

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

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One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

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DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

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Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.

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Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

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NOVEL, n. A short story padded.

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War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

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MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Home Quotes , Animal Quotes

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hope Quotes , Pride Quotes

LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes