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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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- LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
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- Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
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- FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
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- Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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- Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
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- HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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- WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
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- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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- You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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- A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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- PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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- Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
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- The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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- PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil's objections. A needless precaution - they knew no more of the matter than he.
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- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
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- INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both - as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man.
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- MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.
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- Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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- CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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