Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

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TRUCE, n. Friendship.

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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

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A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

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PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

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picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

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Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.

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DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.

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Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

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SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

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I think I think, therefore I think I am.

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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

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Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.

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WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

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Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.

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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

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RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

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recollect, v. To recall with additions something not previously known.

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