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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
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- GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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- MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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- PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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- A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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- Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
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- ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.
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- Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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- Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
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- Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.
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- Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
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- Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
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- Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
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- PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
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- A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links.
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- You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
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- Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
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- Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
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- REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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