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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.
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- REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
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- When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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- Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
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- A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
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- Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.
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- DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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- Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
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- Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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- WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
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- Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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- Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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- SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
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- SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.
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- A modern school where football is taught.
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- Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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- FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
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- KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
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- REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.
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