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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Devil Quotes
- RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
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- Think twice before you speak to a friend in need
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- KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kissing Quotes , Understanding Quotes
- A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links.
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- A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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- To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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- WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
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- INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
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- Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
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- Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.
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- HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.
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- MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
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- GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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- Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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- SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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- According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Numbers Quotes , Adults Quotes