Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Baptism Quotes, World Quotes

DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.

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INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.

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TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

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Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

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A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

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PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.

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Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

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Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command

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Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

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ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

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REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.

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An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

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INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.

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I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

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Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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