Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Creation Quotes, Existence Quotes

PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Creation Quotes , Existence Quotes

POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.

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Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Pockets Quotes

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Atheism Quotes , Invisible Quotes

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Land Quotes , Foundation Quotes

X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Long Quotes , Letters Quotes

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.

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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Injustice Quotes

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Alcohol Quotes

A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

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RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

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BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Physicians Quotes

PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.

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IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Needs Quotes , Morrow Quotes

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Self Quotes , Denial Quotes