Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wish Quotes, Tongue Quotes

Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

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IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.

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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

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Twice – Once too often.

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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

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APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism. "The Mad Philosopher," 1697

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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

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Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

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COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

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Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.

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Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

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