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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.
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- LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".
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- Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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- WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
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- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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- Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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- PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.
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- PLATITUDE, n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. A desiccated epigram.
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- WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
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- Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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- Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.
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- CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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- PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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- ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
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- A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.
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- VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
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- POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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- PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
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- FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"
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