Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Example Quotes

Example is better than following it.

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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

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PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

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Congratulations is the civility of envy.

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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

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The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.

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GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

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Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

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INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

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REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

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Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

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