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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
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- LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
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- REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction.
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- Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.
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- Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
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- TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
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- EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.
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- EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
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- Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
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- To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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- Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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- Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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- MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
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- Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.
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- To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
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- CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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- The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
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- IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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- Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
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- NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.
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