Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Travel Quotes, Journey Quotes

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

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EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.

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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

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Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

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We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.

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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

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Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wall Quotes , Fall Quotes

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

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DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

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WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.

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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

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Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.

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DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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