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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.
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- NOVEL, n. A short story padded.
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- CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?
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- In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.
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- ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
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- URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.
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- RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
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- Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
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- Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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- Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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- Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".
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- Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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- PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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- SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.
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- Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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- Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
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- Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
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- LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
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- PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
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- REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.
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