Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Air Quotes, Civilization Quotes

An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Air Quotes , Civilization Quotes

QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , White Quotes , Numbers Quotes

He laughs best who laughs least.

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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Faith Quotes , Hell Quotes

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lexicographer Quotes , Fool Quotes

HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Feet Quotes

repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Repose Quotes

A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Party Quotes , Men Quotes

A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eggs Quotes , Giving Quotes

EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Science Quotes

An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Army Quotes , Men Quotes

Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

applause, n. The echo of a platitude.

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To Dogmatism the Spirit of Inquiry is the same as the Spirit of Evil.

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Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Is Quotes , Can Not Quotes

Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Quotes , Deceptive Quotes

Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Devil Quotes