Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Saint Quotes, Saints And Sinners Quotes

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

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MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.

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Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.

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LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.

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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

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There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.

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A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting the impressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in the pa

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Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.

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TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

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optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

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BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.

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Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

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DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.

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Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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