Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Doctrine Quotes

Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

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True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked "Unknown," and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the contradiction involved in "honoring the memory" of him of whom no memory remains to honor; but the attempt seems to do no great harm to the living, even to the logical.

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A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.

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RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

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PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.

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DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

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The covers of this book are too far apart.

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Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

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MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Office Quotes , Purpose Quotes

Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Mistake Quotes

PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.

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Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

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ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

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The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

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While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide.

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The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.

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When in Rome, do as Rome does.

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A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

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