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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.
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- Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
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- That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity
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- Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
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- Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.
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- The creator and arbiter of beauty is the heart; to the male rattlesnake the female rattlesnake is the loveliest thing in nature.
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- Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
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- ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.
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- PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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- An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.
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- Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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- Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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- OBSTINATE, adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.
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- WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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- Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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- OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser "triumph."
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- Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
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- RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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- PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.
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- POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Eels Quotes