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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
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- Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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- EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.
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- WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
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- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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- TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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- Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
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- Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
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- Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure
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- HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.
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- DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.
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- REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.
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- Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference
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- REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
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- Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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- Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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- NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
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- Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.
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- Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
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- PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.
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