Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Truth Quotes, Sea Quotes

PLATITUDE, n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. A desiccated epigram.

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NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

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A penny saved is a penny to squander.

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ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, as we to-day have the unhappiness to know him. In the zany we see an example of creation; in the humorist, of transmission. Another excellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes the rector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes the devil.

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Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.

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Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

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WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

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To the eye of failure success is an accident.

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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

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MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

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PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

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Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

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Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter

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Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.

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GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

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Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.

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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

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