Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Mistake Quotes, Modern Quotes

The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Modern Quotes

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

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Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

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BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.

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FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rags Quotes , Troops Quotes

HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.

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LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.

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prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.

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The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Horse Quotes , Children Quotes

renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Littles Quotes

HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

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Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Errors Quotes , Brain Quotes

I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.

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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.

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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Failure Quotes , Inspired Quotes