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Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes 192
- "I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Mean Quotes
- I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Crafts Quotes
- The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- He hadn’t a single redeeming vice.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vices Quotes
- Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Strong Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspiring Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- ... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
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Tags : Abraham Kaplan Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- ... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- ... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Purpose Quotes